Why don’t we do what we say?

Recently I made the remark as bedtime was approaching, “I’m going to crawl into bed.” My husband picked up on it and said, “Then why don’t I see you down on all fours crawling?” In all my years, I’ve never actually crawled into bed, even though I’ve made that statement many, many times. I haven’t “jumped into bed” either, nor have I “hit the hay.” I don’t have any hay in my house, and even in the barn I never actually hit the hay, only forked it.

Which got me thinking about other nonsensical things we say. Such as when I’ve been shopping for clothing and say, “I wouldn’t be caught dead in that.” So who is going to want to catch me when I’m dead, and besides, I wouldn’t be able to run away from anyone if I’m dead.

One day I was looking for something that had been misplaced and asked my husband, “Where in the world do you suppose that went?” It’s doubtful it “went” anywhere in the “world,” but rather was placed somewhere in my house by one of us.

Sometimes when one decides not to take action on an issue for awhile, we say, “Let’s just sit on it and see what happens.” If we sit on it, will we crush it? Will it disappear? And how long will we have to sit without moving—hours, days, months?

If someone “lets the cat out of the bag,” how did it get in the bag in the first place? My cat would never let me put him in a bag; he doesn’t even like to be put in my car for a ride.

“Well, I’ll be a monkey’s uncle,” you might say; that’s fine if you’re a male, but I’d have to be a monkey’s aunt, and I’ve never heard of one of them.

So now I better hang it up for the day, but where should I hang it—in my closet, or on the clothesline? And what if it’s something that can’t be hung on a hanger or by clothespins?

Oh, fiddle-dee-dee—but I don’t know how to fiddle a dee-dee (what’s a dee-dee?); I only play the ukulele.

Margaret Marty is a writer and poet who is delighted to be living in retirement on the Rock Creek farm where she grew up.

Editor’s Note: We look forward to making “Inspirations” a regular part of the Pine City Pioneer, and invite faith leaders, community members and thoughtful readers to take part and share their ideas in this space. For more information email editor@pinecitymn.com or call Mike at 320-629-6771.

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